ReDneck BRooM hA-Ha

Dear Mrs. Curmudgeon,
Since dis heer elektion, I am reel skeered that the gays is gunna ruin dis heer kountry. When I turn on ma teevee all I here's bout is gay rite dis an gay rite that. Them dare queers is gunna take over and turns are kids into pidgified bone munchers. An another thing Mrs. Curmudgeon I think dat dare Obama is the anti- chirst. I heered it on da enternets dat he was. Ma cusin Myrtle told me it was on da e-male. Wat ever the hell an EMale is? Is dat one of those sisified fugde packin' things I's alwasy heres about? I am gettin reel skeered for ours future. An I's not talkin bout little skeered, i's talkin' bout a snake in yur tool belt kinda skeered. Like God must be sendin me messeges thru my tin foil beer shooter. Can you shed some lite on dis pleez Mrs. Curmugdeon?

Sinceerly,
Earl Portoplugger

P.S. Can you tell me wat a Curmudgeon iz? I thinks its one of thos dare playdoh monsteres that I saws on dat skeery show bout peeples puttin curses on da kiddies toys. Dwight sez ist one of those recipes in grannys recipee book. Kinna like a browny of someting. We kinna have dis bet. The winner has tooo shave the other on ones back hare fer a month.


Dear Mr. Portoplugger,
I can definitely see your conundrum. I cannot help in, as you say your "queers" problem. I can only assume they are here for one reason, and that is they are looking for your ripe redneck ass to plant the "bone". With all this back "hare" shaving business, I would of assumed you were happy about the arrival of "da queers". The anti Obamachrist says yes be skeered, be very skeered. He commands you to slam your pecker in your tackle box and that should save you.

P.S. Yes indeed, a curmudgeon is one of those playdoh monsters. She is buliding her playdoh fortress as we speak to shield herself from idiot rednecks who am to harm our planet with toxic beer gases.

Lymerick Shimereck..

There once was a lady named Mary
Who's poot was very hairy
She scared all the fops
Who came round for a romp
and left screaming in shock.

Hardy har..

Butter nuts..

Sorry for the absence of late. My job got hectic crazy and I am so creatively pooped out. Have taken some pics though and have been getting back into the swing of things.


XOXOXOXOXO-

Dani

new

the light from above
a new years star
high in zenith
shines

new world to see
new hope to behold
glistens
in a black sky

shimmers down
dances upon her face
soft white light
star light
silver and gold warmth

her new year
her new world
her hope

hope...

I'm dreaming...

Of a WHITE CHRISTMAS!!!












Merry Christmas to you all..

Kids Love Saint Nick... right?

Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year's gifts.

I've been thinking alot. I know scary..

It is almost Christmas.

I layed (correct my grammar here) on my ass last night just like the one before and have yet to even remotely begin to Christmas shop. Damn commercialization of the world! If I see another Gawd-damned Zales journey diamond pendant commercial I will jump thru the t.v. and strangle that bitch myself for having such an enchanted life..

BAH_FUCKING_ HUMBUG

Commercials either need to mimic life or life needs to mimic commercials. Either way, we won't all be disappointed when we don't get a miracle Sears-mas.

I want to see Commercials about what people really get-
* As Myrtle unwraps her AB Roller / Deep Fryer combo. The same Sponge bob P.J's George gets every year because his dumb ass mentioned that he liked watching Sponge bob.
ONCE!!
That would make this a Christmas Miracle that this (little damned cynically being) would enjoy. Yes enjoy.. I would watch just to see they're ridiculously awkward smiles. You know the one ;)

As for me personally, I already got my gift. A ticket to Idaho to see my Gran one more time. I am most assuredly loved... :)